People Without a Head Injury Say They Feel the Same: It's NOT the Same. 11 Comments That Bothered Me

Prefer to listen? Listen to Podcast Episode 43: People without a head injury say they feel the same, it's NOT the same.

Sometimes, when I share my symptoms with others, I receive comments like, “I am tired, too,” “I have a headache, too,” or “We all have bad days; not every day can be perfect.”

While these statements may be well-intentioned, they do not help someone dealing with post-concussion syndrome or a head injury at all.

It Made Me Feel Misunderstood

Hearing comments like these often left me feeling more misunderstood than ever. It seemed as though people thought my symptoms were merely “bothering” me, rather than acknowledging the reality of my experience.

I couldn’t handle my post-concussion syndrome symptoms, which forced me to stay at home—not simply because I was “not feeling okay” or “feeling sad.” I was really struggling.

On some days, I had to lie down for hours before I could tackle simple tasks like doing the dishes. My symptoms weren’t just “bothering” me; they were debilitating.

Moreover, I wasn’t just “feeling sad.” I felt an overwhelming wave of emotions that often led to tears without knowing why.

There were many instances when I pushed myself to go out, only to burst into tears in a supermarket, not because anything specific triggered it, but because I felt overwhelmed by everything around me.

Crying became my way to release those pent-up feelings.

Further reading: I felt lonely during my concussion recovery - 5 things that helped me

I Didn’t Have Any Control Over My Body and concussion symptoms

The emotional impact of concussions can be huge. The crying was perhaps the hardest part to explain. I had absolutely no control over when it would happen. I might feel okay in the morning and decide to see a friend in the afternoon, only to find it was too much for me.

When I cried in public, people often assumed there was a specific reason for my tears. They would say things like, “It’s normal to feel sad because of what happened,” which was partially true.

Yes, I wasn’t feeling great because of my concussion, but that wasn’t the main reason for my tears. I cried because I felt overwhelmed, and I struggled to articulate that feeling.

Eventually, I stopped trying to explain and opted for the simpler explanation: I was just feeling sad because of my symptoms. I chose the easiest route to save my energy.

Further reading: What having a concussion feels like and how to explain to others.

The 11 Reactions That Bothered Me the Most

1. “I don’t fall asleep fast, either.” It wasn’t just that I had trouble falling asleep; I was awake for hours, feeling unwell.
   

2. “I have headaches sometimes, too.” It wasn’t just a normal headache.
   

3. “I feel tired, too.” It wasn’t just a sleepy kind of tired; ’it was more like I was tired of everything. My whole body was exhausted.
   

4. “Yes, that sound/light is bothering me, too.” ’It wasn’t just bothering me; I really couldn’t handle it.”
   

5. “I planned too many things this week and feel overwhelmed, too.” I felt overwhelmed without any planning at all.
   

6. “I can’t come to your house today, either; I have a hangover.” I felt like I could never leave the house at all.
   

7. “We all have bad days; just accept that life is not perfect.” It wasn’t just a bad day, and I didn’t know how long it would last.
   

8. “Yes, my eyes are tired from my computer, too.” My eyes were not just tired; they were not functioning well.
   

9. “Maybe you should talk to a psychologist; that will help.” Maybe it would help a bit with the emotional part, but when people said things like that, it felt like ’they thought it was all in my head.
   

10. “We are all getting older; no one is as fit as they were when they were 18.” It’ wasn’t about getting older.
    

11. “Maybe you should try not to think about your concussion; don’t make it the main thing in your life.” How could I not think about it when ’it was always there? When I ignored it, I ignored my boundaries, and my concussion symptoms got worse.
    

I Know They Said It to Help Me

I understand that people make these comments in an attempt to help me feel better. It’s not easy to support someone going through something you know nothing about.

They may not realize how challenging it is to cope with those symptoms daily, and while I am grateful they don’t have to experience it, their comments often do more harm than good.

When strangers or acquaintances make these kinds of comments, I don’t express my frustration. However, those close to me now understand that such remarks don’t help and have stopped saying them.

Futher reading: “Why aren’t you healed yet”? + 7 other questions that I tried to avoid.

Only People with Post-Concussion Syndrome or Head Injury Really Understand

I don’t blame those who make insensitive comments, but it does contribute to my feelings of being misunderstood.

When I talk to others who also have post-concussion syndrome or a head injury, they often express similar feelings.

I cherish these conversations; just a few words exchanged, and they completely understand what I mean. It’s a special connection, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to talk to others who truly comprehend my struggles.

During the first two years of my journey, I often felt alone in my symptoms. However, now, as a part of this supportive community, I feel surrounded by wonderful people who remind me that I am not alone in this fight.

What two researched things helped me the most in my recovery?

In my free masterclass, which I’m hosting regularly, I’ll share the 2 researched methods that helped me the most in my recovery (and now also for thousands of others).

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