Updated: Jul 7
When I first sustained my concussion, I was mad. I wondered why this was happening to me. It felt like I was the only one experiencing these symptoms. I thought it wasn’t fair; all the people around me were just continuing life, and I was stuck at home, not feeling well and not knowing how to escape this rollercoaster. I never thought that things were happening for a reason. Whenever someone told me this to “help” me, I became even sadder, because I didn’t know the reason, and I didn’t feel like I would know the reason anytime soon. I was just surviving.
After two years, something needed to change.
Let me be honest; the first two years, I wasn’t positive about anything that had to do with my concussion. The only things I could think of were all the things I missed and couldn’t do anymore, all the things that made the “old me” happy. I was so focussed on those things that I was dragged down into a negative spiral. I didn’t see anything positive as a result of my concussion.
After those two years, I felt like something needed to change. Maybe I couldn’t do those things anymore; maybe I couldn’t do them for the rest of my life. Should I be sad about it all the time and spend the rest of my life like that? I didn’t want that anymore. I decided to focus more on the things that I could do. This wasn’t easy, and there were many days when I laughed about this “stupid” idea. How could I focus on positivity if there weren’t any positive things left, and if I was just surviving day after day?
But then something changed.
Everytime a negative thought came into my mind, I forced myself to think of two positive things, or two things I was grateful for. I hated it; it felt like I was fooling myself, but then after doing this for a month, something changed. It didn’t take that much effort to see more positivity in my life. I still remember the moment when I realized that I was so much more aware of my time and energy.
Before my accident, I was always rushing. I didn’t want to miss anything, and I was always busy with my work, my social life, and working out. I rarely had a day off. When I look back at my life before my accident, sometimes it feels like life lived me, not the other way around. It took me two years to see this first positive effect. Maybe it would have been a small thing for someone else, but it was huge for me. I was curious about other things that might happen on my path to self-discovery.. It felt like I was on a journey to learn about myself, and how I wanted to spend my life.
I got to know myself better than ever before.
Getting to know yourself can sometimes be a painful process, but I believe that without the painful moments, struggles, and frustration that you experienced on your journey, you wouldn’t have gotten to know yourself as well as you do right now. Therefore, I believe everything happens for a reason. What if I never got a concussion? I wouldn’t have discovered myself.
What did I learn?
Of course, if I didn’t sustain my concussion, it would have saved me from a lot of pain, but I believe we are also here on Earth to learn about ourselves and others. What did I learn? Take a look at the list below:
I have so much more empathy for other people. I learned that we all have our struggles, and no one is perfect. I don’t strive for a “perfect” life but for a happy life.
I don’t have any fear of missing out anymore.
I do not rush through life. I take moments to relax and listen to my intuition the best I can.
I learned to indicate my boundaries.
I am not a people-pleaser anymore.
I outgrew certain people and made space for more like-minded people.
I familiarized myself with my values.
My life goals changed into what I really want, and not what society wants.
I became more confident.
I defend, explain, and apologize less.
I love me-time and became my own best friend.
I love this quote: “I find, in general, people have very little understanding of who they are; one has to turn a blind eye to so much of oneself in order to get through life.” It so sums up how unique and tough it is to really get to know yourself.
Be patient and trust in the journey.
Don’t worry if you don’t feel like you’re on the path to self-discovery yet. We all have our own journey, and there is no “good” or “bad”; we will get there in our own way. Try to listen to yourself and have patience. Look at me; it took me two years to find this path, and I am still on it. I think this is a never-ending path in life. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. Trust, surrender, and believe in yourself and your journey.