Can Concussions Affect Relationships? – My Experience With Losing Friends After a Brain Injury

Silvie
Apr 14
7 min read

Updated: May 27

Prefer to listen to this blog? Go to Episode 98: "Losing friends after a concussion"

The Question That Hit Me Hard

A member of our community once asked: "Can a concussion affect relationships?"

I loved this question. Not because it brought joy, but because it hit so close to home. I had dealt with this for so long. And I know I’m not alone. So in this blog, I’ll share my personal story about how concussions changed my friendships and the way I connect with others.

- In the Beginning, It Was All About Surviving

- Losing friends after a brain injury

- What happens to relationships after a brain injury? - Can You Hang Out With Friends After a Concussion? - Reflecting on Friendships While Healing From a Brain Injury - The Pressure to Be the “Old Me” - Letting Go to Heal After a Brain Injury - Choosing Health Over Toxic Friendships - Who’s Left in My Life Now? - I Changed, And So Did My Interests

- It all takes time - So, What Do You Do When You’re Not Going Out Anymore? - A Whole New Life Is Waiting

In the Beginning, It Was All About Surviving

In the first year after my brain injury, I never even considered how it might affect my relationships. My focus was on surviving, getting through the days, and hoping everything would go back to normal soon.

I believed that once I recovered, all my relationships would just pick up where they left off.

So I held on. I tried to stay in touch with people—even those who didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand what I was going through. I told myself, "Why would I let them go? In a few months, I’ll be back to the old me. We’ll go out again, hit festivals, dinners, the usual fun stuff."

Yeah, right.

That wasn’t how it went.

Further reading: How does a concussion affect you socially - my experience.

Losing friends after a brain injury

For a long time, I held on to the idea that everything was temporary and that I’d be the old me soon. I tried to hold on to every friendship—even those that didn’t serve me in my healing process.

I didn't have a relationship during that time, but I can imagine that the partner's experience of dealing with someone who has a traumatic brain injury isn't easy.

My Life Before the Concussion

Before my brain injury, my life was very social. I loved going out for dinners, drinks, or festivals on the weekends. So did my friends. Most friendships were a bit more superficial—talking about deeper subjects wasn’t something I did with most of them.

Some friends were just there to share our love for festivals and fun. But when things got tough, and it wasn’t all about partying anymore, they didn’t know how to act. They kept silent.

What Happens to Relationships After a Brain Injury?

I realized some weren’t real friends. The people who were there in the first weeks after the concussion stopped texting me when recovery took longer than expected. When I still wasn’t feeling any better after months, I started to see who my real friends were.

Can a concussion affect your relationships? YES, definitely.

Some people only texted me to ask if I wanted to go out. They didn’t ask how I was doing, and they didn’t even try to understand.

Can You Hang Out With Friends After a Concussion?

Over time, I noticed they stopped asking me to hang out—probably because they already knew I’d say no. Some people even asked me, “Can you hang out with friends after a concussion?” Yes, you can.

But I preferred meeting at my place because public places were too overwhelming. There was always music, traffic, people... and I just couldn’t handle that.

But visiting me at home? That was something they did once in the first week—and then it was like I disappeared from their lives. It made me sad at the time.

Reflecting on Friendships While Healing From a Brain Injury

When you’re at home recovering from a brain injury, you have a lot of time to reflect on your relationships.

Realizing that many people I called “friends” weren’t real friends was hard. Did I never mean more to them than just someone to party with? I think so.

I struggled with this a lot, especially being home for months (and even years). In the beginning, it felt incredibly lonely. But in the end, I realized it was also a blessing—to learn who your real friends are.

I didn’t want people in my life who didn’t truly care about me—who were only there when life was easy and fun.

The Pressure to Be the “Old Me”

I didn’t realize how many friends expected me to keep up that crazy, positive, “everything is awesome” attitude I must have had before the accident.

Over time, things changed—but I didn’t want to wait around until I was the “old me” again.

Holding on to friendships that didn’t serve me anymore made me sad. It added stress to my already overwhelmed brain. I had been waiting so long to feel like myself again, but I was done waiting. And I didn’t want friends who were only waiting for the old me to return, either.

Maybe I would never become that version of myself again. How long should I wait? I had already been waiting for two years. Something needed to change.

Letting Go to Heal After a Brain Injury

Trying to hold on to people who no longer fit into my life cost me a lot of energy—and that energy was needed for recovery. So, I realized: losing friends after a concussion is sometimes necessary to move forward.

I was done pretending.

So many times, I acted like nothing was wrong—meeting up for lunch but coming home totally drained. They would ask how I was, then quickly move on to stories about parties and fun events.

It made me feel worse. I heard about all the things I couldn’t do anymore—and they didn’t seem to care.

When I told them I wasn’t feeling well, they just said: “It takes time—you’ll get back to your old life.” That was it.

They never asked how I was really feeling. They never visited me. They never helped with things like making dinner or checking in to see if I was okay.

Further reading: "People Without a Head Injury Say They Feel the Same: It's NOT the Same. 11 Comments That Bothered Me"

Choosing Health Over Toxic Friendships

I couldn’t keep up with the “life is all about fun” mindset anymore. One day, I came home and realized—something really needed to change.

I wanted to get better, and these friendships weren’t helping. I wasn’t even enjoying them anymore.

After two years, I decided to put my health first and only meet people who gave me energy.

It was better to be home alone than surrounded by people who didn’t truly care and just drained me. So, I let go of the “party friends.”

I didn’t want to be constantly reminded of everything I was missing out on. I didn’t want them in my life anymore.

Maybe it sounds drastic, but when you’ve been feeling like this for more than a year—or two years—there comes a point when you’re just done with it.

Further reading: "Social Struggles - The Reality of Support and Reconnecting with Friends After a Concussion"

Who’s Left in My Life Now?

Now, I still have a few people in my life.

I often get the question: “What happens to friendships after a concussion?” Well… the people in my life now are my real friends. And I also became my own best friend (sounds cliché, haha, but it’s true!).

I love my alone time more than being around people who held me back.

For a long time, I thought: what if I get better and have no one to celebrate with? But now I know—I want to celebrate with people who are genuinely happy for me. Not just people who needed someone to join their party.

I Changed—And So Did My Interests

I changed a lot after the brain injury. Being home all the time led me to personal development, spirituality, and books—things I never had time for before. But my old friends hadn’t changed at all. It felt like they no longer fit into my new life.

I discovered a world without partying, dinners, birthdays, or drinks—and I liked it even more.

I felt more connected to people who loved yoga, nature, deep conversations, and personal growth.

People I could actually talk to about meaningful things—not just last night’s party.

So yes—concussions can change your relationships. You will change, but maybe your friends won’t. You might become someone new, with new needs and interests.

It All Takes Time

It takes time to figure out who fits your new life and who doesn’t.

Losing friends after a concussion can feel scary. You might fear being alone. But in my experience, every time you close a door, another (better) one opens. New like-minded people will cross your path.

So, What Do You Do When You’re Not Going Out Anymore?

The old me thought friendship meant going to restaurants, bars, and festivals. Haha!

Now I’ve discovered way more (quiet) activities I love:

Going to the sauna
Getting a massage, facial, or beauty treatment
Visiting the dunes, the beach, or a park
Taking a fun workshop (photography, painting, cooking, etc.)
Going to yoga classes
Taking nature walks
Traveling to peaceful places
Camping in nature
Biking
Canoeing or paddleboarding
Taking photos

A Whole New Life Is Waiting

I hope this blog helps you see that losing friends after a brain injury isn’t a negative thing. Yes, concussions can affect relationships—but they also make room for new people and a new life.

Not being the “old you” doesn’t mean life will never feel good again. It might actually mean the opposite.

What if you’re just now discovering the life that was always meant for you—surrounded by the people who really care?

What helped me the most in my concussion recovery?

In my free masterclass, which I’m hosting regularly, I’ll share the 2 researched methods that helped me the most in my recovery (and now also for thousands of others).

I love hosting this masterclass and engaging with all of you, but it takes a lot of effort to organize. That's why it's only available for a limited time. Make sure to sign up and join before it's too late!

>> Register here